Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Rhythm and Ritual

There is a necessary rhythm to the day when you work from home. A general frame on which you rely to keep from going completely insane. And the rhythm is usually grounded in ritual. Waking, eating, playing, working, house-working, baking, inside time, outside time, naptime, craft time. All these things have a place within the day and if you get the balance right you really can do most of them well. But when the balance is off...well, let's just say there are days when I swear if I look in the mirror I'll see Medusa staring back at me with snake-hair standing on end, lips parted in a horrified scream and eyes wild like a cornered animal.

Yes. That's the look. I've been avoiding mirrors for a good couple of months now.

The trouble is, I have no idea what has thrown my rhythm into such disarray. Everything is difficult, everything is a fight, everything takes so much more time and effort than it should. And here I sit feeling as if nothing is being done well. Boo-hoo. I do wonder if the planets are doing some weird dance up in the dark beyond causing my aura to spin westward. Um, yeah. Or maybe it is just the winds of change kicking up dust. When you feel like you're banging your head against a wall, take a step back and look for the door.

Unlike Alice, I'm trying to take my very good advice. So I'm baking bread again--a ritual that ground to a halt when we hit 90-degrees-F in May (just a taste of the neverending summer this year).

The little bear and I are going on a daily learning adventure (he correctly identified two wild and edible plants on our last walk).

And my dear husband is renovating our third bedroom into a proper office space (as it had been taken over by the cats and was pretty much a useless space depite the desk, computer and bookshelves contained within).

Yes, I do think autumn has brought more than just the scent of leaves and crackling fires on the breeze. It is anticipation. Something is coming.....


debbiedas said...

So glad it's not just me. I've been in such a funk lately - hoping it's on its way out. :)

LOVE the colour of that tree. Makes my heart sing. xo

Ciara said...

Hi Amanda! It's been toooo long since I popped in here to say hi.
I know exactly what you mean, and there's nothing like baking bread for ritual. One of my favourite quotes is from The Slow Food Movement: "If you don'y have time in your day for making bread, then something is wrong."
Unfortunately my decade long daily bread making fell by the wayside when number four came along. And he's now 3!!!
I think about that every day...
Someday I will regain it. I know.

Hang in there! I've no doubt it's the shifting seasons as much as anything. Did you know that Samhain, or Halloween as we all know it now, was actually the celtic New Year? Makes sense that you are feeling things shift and change now!
C x

DJ said...

Completely identifying with your funk, Amanda. Some of my friends and I have been discussing our ennui and lapse into...something. Something we can't quite put our fingers on. We were kind of thinking maybe it was hormones and those pesky signs of creepy decrepitude--chin hairs. So, you know me. I just lapse into a musical interlude when the stuff gets too deep for me to cope. My favorite looking ahead, anticipation, hopeful song is Aretha Franklin singing "My Change is Gonna Come". Oh, yes it is...

Enjoy your Little Bear while he is still a cub. I still enjoy mine from afar but he's now a full grown grizzly with a scratchy beard. :-)

Misty Forest Farm said...

Hello Amanda! I'm actually feeling a bit of peace as I read this post, and the comments of your friends, since I have been feeling the funkiness also and realizing that I'm not alone! I was thinking that it was just because I'm having trouble keeping up with a 4 year old BOY, his trail of messes (or slight destruction), and trying to homeschool him as well. And of course I still have the cooking, cleaning, and working to fit in my days...
If you figure it out PLEASE let me know! (Or we could go around as Medusa twins.)
: )
Love and Blessings,

Bending Birches said...

gorgeous photos and perspective, amanda:)
I think a lot of us find ourselves lost within our rhythm at some point...but really, I think it is naturally so ingrained in us that it falls back into place quite nicely...even a simple rhythm, such as wake up, eat breakfast, nap, etc....I find that lighting a candle (ahh! I see that you are a candle maker! awesome!) during some of these "foundational" times helps us a lot, i.e- always at mealtime, right before bedtime, etc. It is a beautiful and gentle reminder to the children and ourselves of what comes next....and with that said, in everything we've been doing lately, I've been reminding myself to s.l.o.w down. Esp this time of year with the holidays creeping up on us!
I so wish you lived closer...i think we have a ton in common!!!
warm wishes:)